I have worked with women for years. And through the years I have witnessed what we commonly call “drama” over and over again. Being a woman I can relate to my own personal dramatics. I have often wondered why it is so easy for women to slip into this pattern. The pattern plays itself out in gossip, getting easily angered and bent out of shape, putting others down, negativity, and a lack of gratefulness. I began to clearly see in Scripture something that relates and makes sense of it all. In a single word: Comparing. Add another word: Competition. And yet another: Envy. All of these are contrary to God’s wisdom and are caused by our own personal insecurities, our flesh living itself out in our relationships with one another, or the bitterness and envy stored up in our hearts. We know things get crazy sometimes but we often don’t realize the culprit.
Here’s truth: James 3:14-16
“If you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”
Let’s not deny the truth…we can have selfish, competitive, unspiritual hearts. And this human “wisdom” or reasoning is of the devil! And, being such, it creates drama! ( disorder and every evil work)
I have been watching this pattern in myself and other women. When there is something brewing, you can usually back it up to some insecurity that is sparking envy, jealousy or personal feelings of having to prove something. This type of comparison, though unspoken, is common to women. But this type of comparison keeps us locked in step with the devils work. Ouch! When are focus is on just what we want, or what others have that we don’t have, we become bent on controlling or comparing. We might not be aware of this, but this is unspiritual behavior, and will wreak havoc in our lives and relationships.
- If we truly believed that God was for us, it would not matter what anyone else had.
- If we truly believed that God created us, it would not matter that another woman was better looking, more talented, or seemingly more equipped.
- If we truly believed that God was in control of our life circumstances, we would not compare our lives, our loves, or our circumstances with others.
- If we truly believed that God had our best in mind, we would relax and allow life to unfold as we learn to trust.
- If we truly believed that we were safe in His hands, we would be free to love, encourage and help everyone around us, because they would not be a threat.
When God created each of us, He had a plan in mind. His design ( plan, intent and purpose) for us as Christian people is to live according to the Spirit’s life that resides within us. Spirit led living is contrary or opposite to flesh based living. We all know a lot about living according to our flesh or feelings, and most of us, if being honest, can agree that when living according to the gospel of self or feelings produces an outcome that doesn’t resemble the abundant life that Jesus promised those who followed him.
Our heart, the center of who we are, can be changed by the power of God’s word. Remember His word is alive and actively at work in each one of us. ( Hebrews 4:12-13) For us to experience real change, God’s Word must be in front of us. ingested into our thought process, meditated on and memorized. When we focus or meditate, or process…one verse at a time, asking God to make it real to us, the miracle happens. Our minds begin to discern and understand God’s best way to live. Our hearts become convicted of the many times we live in opposition to God’s best, and we begin to be transformed from the inside out as God uses His Word of Truth to begin aligning us to what is best
This week I am encouraging you to think of these few verses in James. Ask yourself some personal questions. Check your insecurities at the cross and your heart at God’s door. Ask Him to be your secure and firm foundation so that you will not link yourself to the devils work of comparing who you are or what you have to other women. Agree with the Word that this kind of processing, thinking…though normal…is NOT SPIRITUAL. It will not produce the outcome God has designed for you.
“Love is not easily provoked ( or angered)” 1 Corinthians 13
Ask God for more of His love to fill you as you relinquish your personal insecurities or selfish patterns to him.
Praying with you and for you!