It’s been a long time since I’ve logged into my blog. Three months to be exact. Twelve weeks and a string of days since I have posted anything. 
What do you say when you are just slugging through the grind of medical issues and frequent discouragement?
And, though I haven’t posted a blog, I have privately journaled, pressing my words and thoughts into a pretty little notebook. The process of this part of my journey has taken me to depths of frustration and heights of joy. It’s been an up and down ride of very good days followed by very bad ones. There are many aspects of breast cancer that you don’t know about until you are in the middle of it. Annoyances, side effects from treatments, symptoms from drugs, sleepless nights…
Somehow by a miracle of grace, I am discovering God’s presence with me through it all.
And though I have felt pretty weak at times, I have been learning some things about strength. Things still yet to be processed.
Maybe like me, you are in the middle of something that you are processing. Perhaps you are waiting, longing for God in the middle. As for me, I’ve come up with one word to sum up my current learning curve: CHOICE.
We may not have full control over our circumstances, but we do get to choose how we will frame them and where we will focus our mind and heart. Psalm 84 has a few verses that mean more to me than ever:
“Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs…They go from strength to strength till each appears before God.” Psalm 84:5-7
The Valley of Baca represents the dry and desert places, otherwise known as the trials of this life. Here it says that those who have set their hearts on this sacred journey with God actually MAKE the dry times a place of springs. That’s right, the one with the dust in their teeth, the sweat of hardship on their brow, brings water to the desert place. It doesn’t say that they wait for the springs to come, but instead that in the middle of the heat they make it a place of abundance. Where we set our heart seems to be the key. With a heart set in the right direction we can go from strength to strength, even in the low valley’s of life.
But, rather than strength to strength, I often go from worry to worry, self-pity to self-pity, discouragement to discouragement.
I don’t want to settle anymore. I want to be a woman who goes from strength to strength. Don’t you? I don’t want to wait to sing the victory song when the victory is finally won. I want to learn to sing the notes of hope in the heat of the desert, where the spring rains seem impossible, and the problems are more than I can take. It all comes down to where I have set my heart. Is my heart set on the pilgrimage?
( Pilgrimage: an extended journey with a purpose, a sacred journey, a set apart road)
To “set” simply means to put into a particular position or place. When it comes to our thoughts it is good to think of putting our attitude in the position of lining up our mind and thoughts with God’s heart. Are we positioned to line up to the Truth of God’s Word ? Or are we positioned to line up with our feelings and the pain of our circumstance?
When I realize my life is sacred, set apart, on purpose, for God….life is different. Each day I am presented with a question, ” Debbie who will you choose today?” ” What will your choice be?” “Where will you set your heart?” ” Where will you find your strength?”
When I choose to focus on the will of God in the middle of all my problems, I begin to become strong too. My attitude changes as my thoughts line up with God’s way. The journey doesn’t seem half as bad when I realize it has purpose. To remember that my life is set apart by someone greater than myself is life giving.
Did you know your life is set apart by someone greater?
“In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will” Ephesians 1:11
He works out everything to conform with the purpose of his will! Are you in the desert waiting for some relief? God is with you my friend! He is working. What will you choose in the middle? Where will you set your heart? Where will you focus your mind?
Do you know someone struggling today? Perhaps you can stop now and say a prayer for them. Talking to God on their behalf is something you can start with. Reaching out to them in love, is another step you can take. People have very real problems that they are tired of bothering others with. Yes, in the problems, we all need to learn to sing the song of hope. Sometimes we just need someone else to lend us the tune and before long we are singing again, dancing in strength and watching our dry places become drenched in grace.
strength to strength,
Debbie
Thank you,
I’m battling endometrial cancer and am facing surgery on Wednesday.
Last night was rough with fear knocking loudly on my door, with all the what ifs.
I face a radical hysterectomy and unknown territory as to the possibility cancer has spread
Your post has encouraged me, your journey helps give me hope…thank you for sharing it with us..Bless you Debbie. God is our Strength
how are you Cindy?
debbie
Thank you Debbie, I’m battling depression and have no one to talk to. As you have described some days I’m hopeful and others I’m not. It’s like God is ignoring me. Thank you for you words of strength and encouragement. God bless you always!
how are you? stopping to pray for you now.
Debbie
Debbie, I knew you years ago from Calvary Chapel………..,,,I ran into a mutual acquaintance who told me you are dealing with breast cancer. I was told yesterday March 5th, 2014 that I have breast cancer. I’m waiting for a bilateral MRI and referral to a breast cancer surgeon. Please email me info to help me through this journey. Also, can I follow you on FB? Right now I need a friend. The one thing I’ve discovered so far is that I’m not sure people who say they will pray for me actually do. I know my husband does. Thank you Jesus, for a husband who loves you and me.
Dear Debbie,
What a breath of fresh air your words have been in my life! I have recently happened upon a copy of your book “He Is My Freedom” and it has helped me so much with my terrible fits of anxiety that I suffer from. One particular phrase that comes to mind every time I start to have an anxiety attack is “I am free!” I don’t have to be on bondage to this illness. I am free to live my live happy because of Jesus! I love this quote, “God knows the plans He has for each of us. He knows how He desires to redeem us and draw us daily close to Himself. He has only our best interest in mind, because He created us for His purposes. We are His treasure!” Thank you for the encouraging words! Looking forward to future blogs! I will pray for Gods healing hand upon your illness!
I first would like to pray for healing and rebuke all cancer spirits in Jesus name from you Debra and anyone else that posts here. I often try to compare my problem of having psychological problems and such intense confusion and inability to make simple decisions to the point of tears. Imagine a 51 year old woman sitting in her car crying because I can’t
Figure out what day or time to book a customer day after day call after call.. Also dealing with joint, back pain, foot pain. I’m not sure what is worse physical pain or mental pain and wishing you we’re dead. You can take pills for pain but what do you take for wishing you we’re dead instead of living in confusion. Hope I’m not too gloomy. Just being real for all spiritual people out there that breeze through life. I tell God all the time what I deal with in my mind is not just a trial it is beyond that. Wanting to die is not an ordinary trial
It certainly is hard to get through a day when we are in any type of pain, physical or emotional. I am so sorry that you are going through what you are going through. But, this I know, God is good and God is love. Our situations might not look or feel like love but God is working in all of our circumstances. You are right, what you are living in is not an ordinary trial and I am sure it is more difficult to bear than most of us can imagine. But, I am stopping to pray for you right now, dear one, that Jesus himself will touch you in a way that is healing for you. I suffered with depression in the early 90’s and could not take medications. God met me there and pulled me closer to his side, but it was not an overnight fix. It was a slow process of internalizing His love for me. It was humbling to admit where I was at, but broken is not bad, it’s good because Jesus can make us whole.
Looking up in prayer, for you today.
Debbie
Debbie,
I came here wanting to tell you that I am reading your book, A Woman Who Trusts God, and it is helping me so much. It is one of the most practical, helpful, encouraging books I’ve read. I’m going through a hard marriage issue and reading this book has helped me through some of the hardest times. This blog post is so encouraging. I will be marking it so I can come back through and read it again.
Thank you,
Jeanne